Rick Scott Helps You Write Letters To The Editor

Rick Scott is trying everything to help his poll numbers, including a state wide letter writing campaign. He is asking supporters to send letters to the editors of local newspapers, and to make things easier for you he has already written the letter for you. All you need to do is sign it, and forward it to your favorite local newspaper.
Scott writes for you to send;

When Rick Scott ran for Governor he promised to create jobs and turn our economy around. I voted for Rick because he’s always been a businessman, not a politician. While politicians usually disappoint us and rarely keep their promises, Rick is refreshing because he’s keeping his word. His policies are helping to attract businesses to our state and get people back to work. Some of the special interests are attacking the Governor for making tough decisions, showing leadership, and doing what he told us he would do. Rick Scott deserves our unwavering and enthusiastic support. How can we expect to elect leaders who will keep their word and do what’s right for our state if we don’t stand up for those with the courage to set priorities, make difficult choices, and actually deliver on their promises made?

Stephen Colbert couldn’t let this be the only form letter for Governor Scott and he wrote his own letter for supporters to send;

Dear Editor,

It is my strong belief that Rick Scott is a(n) [adjective] governor. His letter praising himself makes me want to [verb] up. I [adverb] [verb] this great nation, and everyone should [verb] Rick Scott with a [noun] for a(n) [interjection ]full-body shave like a naked mole rat.

Sincerely,
[Name], [City]

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