Fantasy Politics USA

Duncan Hunter told the crowd at the Republican debate that he would keep Guantanamo Bay open, and would hold detainees indefinitely if needed. “And let me tell you,” Hunter said, that “the proof of that is the fact that we have conducted these combatant review tribunals. And we’ve actually sent back to the battlefield or sent back to Afghanistan some of the people that we thought were no longer a threat.” “Some of those people have shown up on the battlefield bearing arms against our soldiers and sailors and airmen and Marines, back on the battlefield after we sent them back,” declared Hunter. “If anything, we’ve been too liberal with the release of terrorists.” Hunter explained the detainees actually have a really nice place at Guantanamo Bay, and the catering is great. “The last time I looked at the menu, they had honey-glazed chicken and rice pilaf on Friday. That’s how we treat the terrorists,” he said. “They’ve got health care that’s better than most HMOs. And they got something else that no Democrat politician in America has. They live in a place called Guantanamo, where not one person has ever been murdered,” Hunter explained. “And there’s not one politician, one Democrat politician in America, that can say that about one of the prisons in his home district. We’ve got to keep Guantanamo open.” Hunter thinks Guantanamo Bay is a model prison, and has no problem holding detainees indefinitely without charging them with any crime. Sounds like good strong American values. Maybe he could look into the rest of us getting some the same health insurance the detainees at Guantanamo Bay have.
Alan Cosgrove

Barack Obama explained to a group at a backyard gathering in Iowa that he had more experience than Hillary Clinton or John Edwards. In response to a question about his lack of experience Obama said, “I find it amusing, the whole experience argument, because I’ve been in public service for over two decades now. I’ve been in elective office longer than John Edwards or Hillary Clinton. I’ve passed more bills, I’m sure, than either of them.” Obama added, “What people seem to mean when they say that I don’t have enough experience is I haven’t been in Washington as long as they have. Now, I don’t know about you, but I don’t think that’s necessarily a criteria for gauging experience.” Obama actually has the same amount of experience, and even in the same places as one of our greatest Presidents, Abraham Lincoln.
Alan Cosgrove

Fred Thompson formally enters the race tonight when he announces on the Jay Leno Show. “I’m running for president of the United States,” Thompson told Leno. The show was taped an hour before the other Republican candidates debated in New Hampshire. Thompson choose not to attend the debate, and instead sent a 30 second political ad. This decision has been met by a bunch of criticisms. At the debate was a huge duck with a sign on his front that read, “Fred, why are you ducking the debate?” On his back was a sign that read, “Quacks should stay in Hollywood.” Thompson made fun of the other candidates that have been campaigning since the beginning of the year. “I don’t think people are going to say, ‘You know, that guy would make a very good president but he just didn’t get in soon enough,'” Thompson said to the studio audience on the Tonight Show. “If you can’t get your message out in a few months, you’re probably not every going to get it out.” The candidates at the debate poked fun back at Thompson for not showing up. John McCain said, “I think that’s a decision that Fred should make and maybe we’re up past his bed time.” Mike Huckabee said, “I was scheduled to be on Jay Leno tonight, but I gave up my spot to somebody else because I’d rather be in New Hampshire with these fine people.” Mitt Romney even suggested Thompson should wait a little longer. “Why the hurry, why not take some more time off?” said Romney. “Maybe January or February might be a better time to make a decision about getting into this race.”
Alan Cosgrove

Fred Thompson has announced that he will run an ad during the Republican debate on Wednesday instead of actually participating in it. He also plans on being on the Jay Leno Show that night right after the debate. Then at midnight he will post his 15 minute video on his website announcing that he is running for President in 08. “We think one of the strongest weapons this campaign has is Fred Thompson’s ability to connect directly with the public,” said Thompson’s campaign. “We want to drive as much traffic as possible to the Web site.” The next day Thompson will make his first campaign stop after officially entering the race. Thompson skipping the debate has caused quite a stir in New Hampshire. The Union Leader has been very critical of Thompson’s decision to skip the debate. Mitt Romney’s campaign also got a few digs in on Thompson saying, “Tomorrow night is an opportunity to spend an hour and half with New Hampshire voters and talk to them about issues that are important to them. Contrast that with 30 seconds in a paid ad.” Thompson’s style of campaigning is nontraditional so far, or as some have called it, “lazy.” He has been able to stay away from the hard questions, and he is still allowed to say anything without rebuttal. Testing the water is over, and now it is time to jump in. Thompson will sink like lead if he doesn’t change a few things.
Alan Cosgrove

John McCain took questions from high schoolers today at Concord High School in Portsmouth, New Hampshire. The students where given a question and answer time, and one student asked McCain, “If elected, you’d be older than Ronald Reagan, making you the oldest president. Do you ever worry that like you might die in office or get Alzheimer’s or some other disease that might affect your judgment?” This didn’t faze McCain, and he joked about him already having a bit of Alzheimer’s, but said he could out campaign any of his rivals. Then McCain told the student, “Thanks for the question, you little jerk … you’re drafted.” McCain was also asked about what he would do for the rights of “LGBT’s.” The question confused McCain, not knowing what “LGBT” was. It was explained that it meant Lesbians, Gays, Bi-sexual, and transgenders. With that McCain said he supported the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy, and was against same sex marriages. “I believe that the sanctity of marriage between man and woman is unique and should be preserved, and I understand the controversy that swirls around that issue, and that debate needs to be continued to be held, but I support that position.” The student didn’t like McCain’s answer and said, “You want to take away someone’s rights because you believe it’s wrong?” “I don’t put that interpretation on my position, but I understand yours,” McCain responded. Wanting to get the last word the student said, “I came here looking to see a good leader. I don’t.” McCain seemed to enjoy the back and forth, and told the students, “I thank you. That’s what America is all about, and I appreciate your views.”
Alan Cosgrove